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CEIA: ``Revenge'' (#101)

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-- Information --

Airing Info

Production Date: [?]
Mar 91
Broadcast Date: [?]
23 Mar 91
Running Time: [?]
8:25 + 11:27 = 19:52
AKA: [?]

Episode Content

Plot Synopsis: [?]
Clarissa is determined to exact the ultimate revenge on Ferguson after he embarrasses her at school by bringing her training bra to show-and-tell.
Subplots: [?]
A bet made by Sam's dad has Sam trying out for the football team; Marshall tries to get someone to play with him and reminisces about his early grid-iron days.
Opening Scene: [?]
``Grrrowwl! ... Hi, I'm Clarissa. Clarissa Darling.'' / My likes and dislikes; my family.
[Note: There's a complete transcript with descriptive comments for this opening scene at the bottom of this page.]
Closing Line: [?]
``Gee, I could watch this all day!'' [pic]
Spoofs: [?]
Other Cut-away Segments: [?]
Computer Stuff: [?]
``Fergus-ide!'' computer simulation. [pic]
Sam's Entrances: [?]
``Watch out for Elvis! (To us:) Elvis is my security alligator. He looked a lot bigger in the catalog.'' ``Here's all that junk you wanted. I still don't know what it's for.''
Names for Ferguson: [?]
Ferguson, my agkh! brother
the twerp
Ferguson, that little booger
Ferg-head, my crud of a brother
little brother
Ferguson (a few times)

Note: Sam calls Ferguson ``a dork-head creep who they should grind up for puppy puke''. Also, Ferguson's baby picture is labeled ``Ferg-Face As Baby''.

Marshall's Designs: [?]
telephone-shaped ``Nantucket Inn''
salt-shaker-shaped building
coffee-cup-shaped building
upside-down pyramid house
Janet's Work: [?]
We see her reading to kids at the Children's Museum (and then marching in place -- see the transcript of the opening scene).


Writer: [?]
None credited, but probably Mitchell Kriegman.
Director: [?]
Kenneth Frankel
Guest Players: [?]
None credited.
Opening Credits: [?]
Closing Credits: [?]
Created By                        Mitchell Kriegman
Produced By                       Mitchell Kriegman
Director                          Kenneth Frankel
Line Producer                     Sarah Condon
Associate Producer                Chris Gifford
Theme Song Performed By           Rachel Sweet
Theme Music Composed By           Rachel Sweet
                                  Anthony Battaglia
                                  Willa Bassen
Production Design                 Byron Taylor
Lighting Director                 Dick Weiss
Costume Designer                  Lisa Lederer
Creative Consultant               Alexa Junge
Production Manager                Jim Moroney
Unit Manager                      Jacqueline Davies
Art Director                      David Ellis
Associate Director                Jim Scurti
Casting                           Rich Ross
                                  Michael Koegal
Talent Coordinator                Todd Denkin
Stage Manager                     Joshua Berger
Technical Director                John M. Lutz
Technical Manager                 Tim Rounds
Audio                             Mark Schultz
                                  Frank Rohrer
                                  Kris Barnes
Video                             Pete McIntyre
Cameras                           Rudy Carames
                                  Barbara Drago
                                  David Kinney
                                  Ken Kraus
                                  Rick Mendoza
Boom Operators                    Mark Deadman
                                  Bob Van Dorn
Lighting Board Operator           Sean Mallon
Lighting Director Assistant       Chris English
Video Tape                        Lonnie Blackburn
Utility                           Steve Bunnell
                                  Bill Giglio
                                  Frank Vila
Paintbox Artist                   St. Mars
Editor                            Rick "Whoops" Fernandes
Offline Editor                    Keith Bozarth
Post Production Sound Mixer       Grant Maxwell
Post Production Supervisor        Donick Cary
Post Production Coordinator       Cynthia Albanese
Chyron                            Francie Elikan
Electricians                      Michael Foster
                                  Darrin Tindall
                                  Alf Zammit
Make Up                           Liz Spang
Hair                              Tish Simpson
Wardrobe Supervisor               Jackie Lafler
Wardrobe Assistants               John Cox
                                  Richard Plombon
Property Master                   Deborah Witt
Props                             Steve Clark
                                  Wayne Spoor
                                  Rich West
                                  Vickie Wilson
Stagehands                        Ed McMillan
                                  Andy Curaney
Production Coordinators           Randy Koshinskie
                                  Karen Wald
Continuity                        Margo Kent
Production Assistants             Andy Calandrino
                                  Margo Comport
                                  Kathleen Connolly
                                  Pam Ginsburg
                                  Bobby Lory
                                  Nanette Morosi
                                  David Roofthooft
Video Game Created By             Tim Burns
Additional Music By               Dan Vitco
Children's Education Provided By  On Location Education
                                    Orlando, Florida
Animation From "(She Was A)
  Hotel Detective" By             Joey Ahlbum
  Courtesy Of                     They Might Be Giants
  And                             Bar Non Records
They Might Be Giants Poster
  Courtesy Of                     Elektra Entertainment
Special Thanks To                 Jen Mac Industries
                                  Lauren Gray
                                  Herb Scannell
Executive Producers               Geoffrey Darby
                                  Brown Johnson
                                  Andy Bamberger

Thunder Pictures
(C) 1991 MTV Networks

Other Info

Character Names: [?]
Clarissa Darling
Janet, her mom [pic]
Marshall, her dad [pic]
Ferguson, her brother [pic]
Mr. Futtstein, her history teacher
Elvis, her ``security alligator'' [pic]
Sam, her best bud [pic]
Jody, her girlfriend [see ``School Picture'' (#102)]
Ms. Engleberger, Ferguson's teacher
Wally Butterman, ``torpedo-head'' bully on the school football team
Real-World References: [?]
Martika, Madonna, Twizzlers, John Linnell (``the one without the glasses''), They Might Be Giants, Keith Haring (artwork behind Janet at Children's Museum), Jeep, Freddy (from the Nightmare on Elm Street movies), Psycho (music at end of opening scene), Batman (Sam's t-shirt), Beatles, Doug Henning, Looney Tunes (``You looked like a real looney tune.''), National Geographic, Magic Johnson, Donald Duck, Goodyear blimp, E.T. (E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial), Bugs Bunny, Porky Pig, Bozo (the clown).
Quotes: [?]
``There comes a time when everyone has to act in a way that defines them forever.'' - Mr. Futtstein
``If you aim for the sun, your arrow might fall short.'' - Benjamin Franklin?
``Who shoots at the mid-day sun, though he be sure he shall never hit the mark; yet as sure he is he shall shoot higher than who aims at a bush.'' - Sir Philip Sidney (1554-1586), The Arcadia, Book II.

``Who aimeth at the sky shoots much higher than he that means a tree.'' - George Herbert (1593-1633), The Church Porch.

Lyrics and Poetry: [?]
Clothes: [?]
  1. Dark-blue vest with some sort of medal pinned to it on the left side, over a white, long-sleeve, button-down shirt (sleeves rolled up a few inches) with red vertical stripes and white buttons, over a black long-sleeve shirt with pink upside-down triangles around the collar and a zipper on the right side, from the collar to the shoulder. A red skirt of some sort with a white pattern (leaves??) on it, purple leggings with little black dots, and red socks with black hi-top shoes. A black (digital?) watch and two bracelets (?) of some kind on her right wrist and a larger analog watch on her left wrist. Her hair is done up in a thingy (?) on the top of her head, letting her hair hang down in the back, from one ear to the other. [pic]
  2. Black, long-sleeve, macrame sweater over a purple, long-sleeve shirt (cut just above the midriff) with big buttons. Blue-jean cut-offs with a big, black belt (silver buckle) over leggings having a multi-colored floral pattern. Same shoes as before. Hair pulled back through a black headband (that has been twisted around several times), two bracelets on her left wrist, and big, brown beetle (?!) earrings. [pic]
  3. Peach-colored, long-sleeved blouse with black polka-dots, baggy blue jeans, a dark-blue headband, and big, silver, loop earrings. Two necklaces, one holding a bunch of keys, and one a big, black object (??). The same bracelets and watches as in #1 (?). [pic]
Food: [?]
Pics: [?]

-- Opinions --

Favorite Lines: [?]
Favorite Scenes: [?]
Other good stuff: [?]
Weak Points and Mistakes: [?]

-- DYNs --


-- Transcript of Opening Scene --

[this is the only episode page that has this field]

This is a transcript of the opening scene of ``Revenge'', the first episode of Clarissa Explains It All.

The format is like this:

Comments, ``stage directions'', camera movements, on-screen graphics, etc.

Clarissa's monologue.


Fade in on tight shot of slightly fogged-up bathroom mirror. Dramatic music is heard, such as in a horror movie. Clarissa pops up holding a toothbrush in her left hand, with toothpaste foam around her mouth, like a rabid dog.

Grrowwwl! [pic]

The camera pulls back and there's a flourish of music as she sinks down out of sight, then pops up again, having wiped away the toothpaste. The music stops.

Hi, I'm Clarissa.

We are looking at her reflection in the mirror. She is wearing a black long-sleeve shirt with pink upside-down triangles around the collar and a zipper on her right side, from the collar to the shoulder. Her hair is done up in a scrunchie on the top of her head, letting her hair hang down in the back, from one ear to the other. We hear water running. She wipes her mouth again as she says, with a bit of annoyance:

Clarissa Darling. Okay, I didn't choose the name.

As she continues to wipe around her mouth, she says wistfully, looking off to her left:

I wanted Jade...

She looks back at the camera.

But by that time, it was too late already.

The camera pans to the right as she turns off the water and turns around to face us; we are now looking at her directly (not in the mirror).

Anything without a last name would be better, like...

Wistfully, looking off-camera again:


She starts to walk across the bathroom, to her left, and the camera follows.

Or Madonna would've been great.

She takes a white button-down shirt with red vertical stripes and white buttons down from a hook on the bathroom door.

But no one asked me.

She puts the shirt on (her left arm first) as she says:

Since we're going to be hanging out a lot, and I'm going to explain all things that go on around here, I think you should know a few things about me.

She flips her hair out from under the shirt collar. We can see that she's also wearing a black (digital?) watch and two bracelets (?) on her right wrist and a larger analog watch on her left wrist.

You know, my likes and dislikes.

She takes a dark-blue vest off of another hook.


Camera pans to the left as the word ``LIKES'' (in yellow letters with a red underline) appears to the left of Clarissa.

I like Twizzlers, jawbreakers, and sugarbombs;

The words ``Junk Food'' are written out (in white) as she puts on the vest. Cartoon depictions of two guys appear, the one on the left stomping his feet. A snippet of the song ``Ana Ng'' (by They Might Be Giants) is heard as she says:

John, the one without the glasses, in They Might Be Giants;

and driving! [pic]

A blue car-shape moves right-to-left across the bottom of the screen, trailing puffs of smoke, and accompanied by vroom-ing and screeching-tires sound effects. Clarissa is fiddling around with the vest.

Everyone thinks I'm too young to drive.

She adjusts the shirt collar to go over the vest, which has some sort of medal pinned to it on Clarissa's left side.

But I feel you have to start early if you really want to do something right.

Camera pans to the right as Clarissa finally stops adjusting the vest.


The word ``DISLIKES'' appears and ``Home Haircuts'' is written out as Clarissa says:

I hate the kind of pixie haircuts your mom gives you at home;

Little round blobs are drawn on the screen, and we hear strange sped-up voice sounds as she says, with some urgency (raising her hands, clenched in fists):

I hate tiny germs everywhere;

The word ``Germs'' appears. She lowers her hands and says:

And barf! [pic]

A yellowish-green splatter appears, accompanied by the appropriate splattering sound. Clarissa looks down at it, then quickly looks up to her right. Cut to a shot from her right, as she turns and says:

Have you ever noticed how barf always tastes like orange juice and pizza?

Then there's my parents...

She walks to the right (her left) over to the bathtub.

It's not that I hate my family, it's just that...

She sits down on the edge of the bathtub.



They're my family.


She bends down to pick something up as she says:

There's my mom, Janet.

A picture of Janet appears in the upper-right corner of the screen, accompanied by ``kiddie'' music that sounds as if played on a toy piano. Clarissa comes up with a right shoe from a pair of black hi-tops (?) and puts it on as she says:

She's a regular mom, pretty much.

At this point we see that Clarissa is wearing a red skirt of some sort with a white pattern (leaves??) on it, purple leggings with little black dots, and red socks. A shot of Janet surrounded by five kids zooms out to fill the screen while Clarissa says:

Except, she works with kids. Little kids.

Janet is reading to the kids. In the background is a large Keith Haring painting.

She shows them stuff at the Children's Museum, where she's in charge.

The scene changes to a sped-up shot of Janet and the kids marching in place.

If you ask me, it's a secret indoctrination camp to turn the little guys into morons. [pic]

The scene freezes as the music hits a bad note and we return to a shot of Clarissa, who has just finished putting on her shoe.

Oh, and she eats health food.

She bends down again to get the left shoe as she says:

Okay, then there's my dad, Marshall.

Dignified-sounding horns herald a shot of Marshall in the upper-right corner.

Dad's an architect.

Clarissa puts on her left shoe as she says:

That means he makes lots of drawings and visits empty lots in his Jeep.

A picture of Marshall standing in front of a vacant lot zooms out to fill the screen.

Usually he builds houses in weird shapes.

We see a few of Marshall's finished works: A telephone-shaped Nantucket Inn; a house in the shape of a salt shaker; a coffee-cup-shaped building with a big brown drop coming over the lip... [pic]

He's a modern architect.

We see an upside-down pyramid house with a ladder going up to the entrance as Clarissa says:

I'm really glad we can't afford to live in any of his houses.

Return to the shot of Clarissa.

And then there's me...

We hear three knocks on the bathroom door. Clarissa looks toward the door in utter disgust and gives a little huff. [pic]


She gets up and walks over to the door as she says:

The only abnormal child of two perfectly normal parents.

Three more knocks, as Clarissa reaches the door and prepares to open it.

Unless, of course, you count...

Opens the door and points to Ferguson.


Ferguson enters, wearing a blue robe over plaid pajamas, with a light-blue towel draped over his left shoulder. Clarissa says:

This is Ferguson, my agkh! brother. [pic]

(Clarissa does a finger-down-the-throat gesture on the ``agkh''.) Ferguson rolls his eyes and walks into the bathroom silently as the word ``Ferguson'' and a downward-pointing arrow appear over his head. Clarissa greets him with a caustic:

Morning, Ferg-face.

She exits as Ferguson closes the bathroom door behind her. Cut to a shot outside the bathroom door:

That dork-pie has been a burr in my butt since he was born. ``Why me?'', I ask myself...

Clarissa walks toward us, off camera-left. There is a pause, then Clarissa returns in a tight close-up and says:

And why him? [pic]

A picture of a crying baby slides in from the right, complete with animated blue tears and crying sounds. Subtitles indicate that this is ``Ferg-Face As Baby''. [pic]

He was a normal, ugly little baby. Sometimes I think he was just envious of my natural grace and good looks.

The picture slides off-screen to the left, revealing a shot of Clarissa outside her bedroom door. On the door is a real leash connected to a picture of a dog, a blue piece of paper with the words ``guard dog'' (?) written on it, and an ``Exit'' sign.

Sometimes I think he's related to Freddy. Fff! Fish-face is a real creep.

She opens the door and enters as we cut to a shot from inside her room.

But it doesn't matter anymore. 'Cause after today...

She closes the door behind her and leans up against it. She points with her left thumb at a picture of Ferguson with a line through it (i.e., international symbol for ``No Ferguson'') and says:

He dies! [pic]

Psycho-type music is heard as the scene fades into the opening titles and theme song.


The scene has lasted exactly 2 minutes and 30 seconds.

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